It’s that time again. Time to look through movie trailers for the upcoming season and give my thoughts on them. Let’s see how many end up in my NOPE! list this time.

Watching

Kong: Skull Island: Made by the same company as Pacific Rim and the more recent American Godzilla film, Kong: Skull Island is the first film of the year after The Lego Batman Movie I’m looking forward to (Hidden Figures officially came out on Christmas). It’s got three actors from Marvel in it and if we have to gage Legendary Pictures’ films on a scale of one monster movie to another, it still a scale of okay to great. If nothing else, it’s not a straight remake of the original.

Beauty and the Beast: The live action remake of one of my favourite animated films, if not just films in general, of all time. It has a stellar cast, looks great, and Emma Watson can sing. Also, the Beast is SUPPOSED to be ugly! He’s the Beast! Disney’s not gonna be eager to mess up this film seeing as it’s one of the most well known and popular Disney films of all time so it has that going for it. If nothing else the music’ll be good, It’s made by the same composer as the animated film, Alan Menken. 

Life: Yes, a sci fi horror film is on my Watching list. I like the genre. It helps that is seems like a more diverse Alien. Probably won’t be as good as Alien, but the writers also made Deadpool and Zombieland. …and Ryan Reynolds is in it. Huh. Weird. Whatever, still watching it.

The Zookeeper’s Wife: A true story set during World War 2 in Poland about saving Jews from the Germans. Now that’s a biodrama I like. I’ll see it.

Free Fire: An R rated British action comedy starring Brie Larson about a bunch of criminals who shoot at each other for 90 minutes….sign me up.

The Circle: A thriller about the dangers of surveillance and concerns of privacy led by Emma Watson with a great American accent. It’s also the final film to star the late Bill Paxton. Sounds good.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2: The sequel to Guardians and the continuation of the MCU is enough to get me in the seat alone. Baby Groot is what makes me stay. I could watch that scene in the trailer of him vine whipping that big guy while roaring and the big guy flees in terror of the tiny tree over and over. Can’t wait!

Interested

Leap! (Or Ballerina as it’s known everywhere else): A story about two orphans who run away to follow their dreams. One to become a ballerina and the other to be an inventor. It’s a very cute, well animated story set in France. I might go and see it.

Table 19: Yes, a comedy ends up in the Interested category. The characters don’t look like idiots. The director has a good track record. Anna Kenrdek’s always fun to watch and Phoebe from Friends is in it. Might be nice considering I’ve got three weddings to go to this year. …I have a lot of cousins.

The Last Word: A film about an over controlling retired woman trying to turn her life around so that there will be something nice in her obituary. It looks pretty endearing. While I think she goes into this for selfish reasons, her interactions with the other characters do seem to be changing her for the better. It will be interesting to see if she actually dies prior to the end of the film. Close to an Eh, but looks like it might be nice.

Before I Fall: A girl reliving the last day of her life over and over again until she gets it right. So a less comedic Groundhog Day? I do like time travel stories. Seems interesting.

The Sense of an Ending: A tale of love, anger, and the reevaluation of a life through the eyes of a retiree. Honestly, this is lower on my Interested list than the others. The premise is interesting, but I can’t tell if it’s my bias for British accents that put this over other dramas I’ve skipped over before.

Personal Shopper: A psychological thriller about Kristen Stewart being driven crazy by what she thinks is the spirit of her dead twin. …Look, no one liked Twilight. Not even the actors who played the characters, but if we can absolve Robert Patterson for it, I think we can absolve Kristen Stewart too. No one could make Bella an interesting character and she’s been in good films since then. I’ll give it a chance.

The Belko Experiment: A horror thriller about office workers being held hostage and told to kill or be killed Suicide Squad style. Sounds like an interesting premise. Might end up being entertaining. We’ll see what happens.

Atomica: A science fiction thriller with a female lead. Looks interesting and I’m always up for more sci fi. I love the two genres and Merry from Lord of the Rings is in it, he’s always nice to see.

T2 Trainspotting: A black comedy drama sequel to Trainspotting. I’ve never seen the first film, but it’s been on my list for a while. If I see the first film, I’ll probably go see this one. That’s the only reason it’s not in Watching. I do love me some black comedy, especially the British kind.

All Nighter: A comedy where J.K. Simmons tries to find his daughter with the help of her ex boyfriend. He’s clearly some sort of spy or special agent. Hilarity ensues. Simmons is a fun actor and the premise looks fun enough without being stupid. Looks like fun. I’ll go see it.

Their Finest: A Rom-Com taking place during World War 2 about filmmakers. Now that’s an interesting Rom-Com. Taking place in Britain certainly helps. Hell, I’d say this one’s close to a Watching.

Wilson: A film based on a satirical graphic novel. It looks funny and the lead…I should think he’s an idiot, but he’s really not. I honestly think he’s funny.

Ghost in the Shell: …I want this film to be good. I really do. Yes, I don’t like that they chose Scarlet Johanson over an Asian-American actress who could have gotten her big break or someone like Rinko Kikuchi who already is known by the sci fi audience, but I want to see an anime adaption film do well in America. I don’t think we’ve had one since Speed Racer. Johansson is a proven action lead and if this could lead to more leading roles for women in action films, I’ll take it. The original Ghost in the Shell helped get anime popular in America. Maybe this could do the same. But the director and writers haven’t made a hit that I know of. I’ll go if it’s good, but it’s close to an Eh. (Also, did they have to go with the naked looking battle suit?)

Going In Style: 3 old timers, being screwed over various time moneywise, decide to rob a bank. Morgan Freeman, Alan Arkin, and Michael Cain, three great actors with both action and comedy experience. Should be funny if nothing else.

Sleight: A street magician who ends up in a street gang tries to get out while looking after his little sister. The magic looks like it’s real so I don’t know if that’ll end up as hypnosis or what, but that alone has me interested.

Colossal: A down on her luck lady finds out she has a strange connection to a monster (Kaiju) that’s been attacking South Korea. I love this premise, Kaiju plus humour. I never got the hate for Anne Hathaway that dominated a decent portion of my childhood, but it seems to have died down. I like her and I like this.

Gifted: Chris Evans playing a uncle trying to raise his exceptionally gifted niece that way he believes his late sister would have wanted despite accusations that he’s not fit to raise her. Gotta love Chris Evans. Octavia Spencer’s a great actress and a family drama’s nice once and awhile.

Spark: Can’t find a trailer for this, but I like the premise. Hope it does well.

Born in China: A nature documentary about China. Since it’s a documentary, I probably won’t see it, but I’ll probably watch it when it comes on Netflix. I love nature docs.

The Lost City of Z: An action adventure non fiction film about an explorer who disappeared. That’s how you get me interested in a true story.

Snatched: I want to put this in Eh, but I’ve been fooled by Amy Schumer trailers before. Plus, it’s written by one of the writers of Parks and Rec. I’ll give it a shot.

Everything, Everything: I know I don’t usually like romance, but this one looks cute. Maddy kinda reminds me of Anna from Frozen except a little less isolated.

Lowriders: A story about a young man struggling with his family and something about cars. …The cars thing doesn’t interest me, but the family drama sounds interesting. Maybe.

Eh

Logan: Okay, I know I’m gonna get flack for this one, but, I’m sorry, I just don’t care about the X-Men. There’s a reason I don’t read their comics or why the only character I care about is Deadpool. Wolverine is over hyped as all hell and, while I’m glad they’re introducing X-23 into the big screen (And Patrick Stewart coming back, plus they’re FINALLY giving Wolvy an R rating), it’s just not for me. Hope you enjoy it. Sure it’ll be good. I’ll wait for the next MCU film.

The Shack: Faith based stuff isn’t really my cup of tea, as you’ve probably noticed, but this is a touching story about a father struggling to cope with the death of his child and they don’t appear to go straight for the God thing unless the three divine characters are angels. Honestly, it’s just not my thing, but I’m sure someone’ll like it.

Catfight: Two women destroying each others’ lives over and over again. …I honestly didn’t know where to put this one. It seems a bit disjointed, switching back and forth between who’s successful and who’s not, but at the same time I want to see what becomes of them. But all this could be resolved if they just sit down and talk like adults. I think I’ll put it in Eh.

The Wall: Two American soldiers are pinned by an Iraqi sniper, trapped behind a crumbling wall. On the one hand, I’m getting tired of seeing so many war films, especially ones with Middle Eastern bad guys. On the other, it does seem like an interesting and suspenseful film with an intelligent bad guy. I’m putting this close to Interested, but not quite in it.

Raw: Horror film about cannibalism. Ordinarily, this would go into the NOPE! Section, but I’ve been feeling surprisingly lenient towards horror films as of late. As a Hannibal fan, I also have a soft spot for cannibalism. Considering it’s a foreign film it probably won’t be playing anywhere near me anyway, but if one of my horror loving friends drags me to it, I won’t say no.

Song to Song: Music and Romance. Two things I really don’t care about, but it looks cute. Might be nice, so I won’t rule it out, but I honestly don’t think I’ll go see it.

Power Rangers: I honestly have so little faith in this movie, it’s almost sad. Rita seems threatening enough, but the rangers all seem like jerks. Sure, the originals were goody goods, but at least they weren’t all social outcasts. The outfits and zords are so different I can barely recognise them. It just seems like they’re following the DC method of dark and gritty superhero films for the sake of being dark and gritty to be more “adult”. I hope it proves me wrong, but I doubt it.

The Boss Baby: …This looks so stupid. Alec Baldwin as a talking baby fighting against puppies…maybe little kids’ll like it.

The Discovery: A romance where the existence of an afterlife has been scientifically proven…people committing suicide and it’s somehow about this guy and his love? …Okay. I don’t get it, but okay.

Smurfs: The Lost Village: Another Smurfs movie. Looks better than the live action ones, but they’re just not for me. I’m sure kids’ll like it, but I’m not interested. I do like how Smurfette is the lead though.

Unforgettable: A thriller about a mentally unstable woman who goes after her ex husband’s new wife. The Woman Scorned narrative doesn’t interest me and neither does the crazy ex thing.

How to be a Latin Lover: The male gold digger’s luck runs out and is forced to move in with his sister. He tries to teach his nephew the tricks of his trade while targeting the boy’s crush’s wealthy grandmother. It kinda sounds like a douchey comedy, but enjoy it if you like it. It’s just not for me.

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword: While I do like Arthurian mythology, Guy Richie doesn’t have a great track record and just reading the summary, it doesn’t look like it’s sticking with the myth. If it was another Sherlock Holmes film, I’d say yes. This though? No thanks. 

Three Generations: Formally called About Ray, this is that film with a cis actress playing a pre-transitioned transman that was supposed to be released two years ago. Just…no thanks. The story sounds alright, but that bit just prevents me from putting it into Interested. Also, can we please just start casting trans actors as trans characters? Or can we at least start casting the cis actors by the character’s gender identity and not biological sex? Sure it’s still not great, but it’s better than the alternative.

Baywatch: …We’re still making movies out of old television shows? I know the original series is seen as like a staple of the 90s, but seriously. This? I guess it works better for a film than something like The Addams Family or Beverly Hillbillies. I just hope for fans’ sake that Hasselhoff makes a cameo.

NOPE!

CHiPs: No homo jokes and some idiot humour. …Why do these keep getting made? I don’t know anything about the series it’s based on so maybe that’s what the show was like. I don’t know. Michael Pena’s normally a funny actor and if something saves this film for people, it’ll be him, but the no homo jokes just don’t sit well with me. Seriously guys, it’s the 21st century. Get over it.

Step Sisters: Dancing and Sororities. Again, two things I’m not interested in. Also, I couldn’t find a trailer for it. At all. I’m sure the premise is interesting to someone, just not to me. Have fun.

The Blackcoat’s Daughter: A horror thriller that, from what the trailer suggests, seems to involve a demon. …Fun times. Have fun with that.

The Fate of the Furious: Haven’t seen the other films. Not that interested. Glad to hear they didn’t kill off Paul Walker’s character. Have fun fans!

The Lovers: Two married people having affairs with other people find themselves falling in love with each other again. Yeah, doesn’t sound fun to me.

Alien: Covenant: The Prometheus sequel. I didn’t see Prometheus and honestly, I just want Ridley Scott to work on that Aliens sequel he’s talked about.

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul: Didn’t watch the other movies and it has a new cast anyway. Have fun if you like this series.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales: …WHO ASKED FOR THIS?! WHY ARE THEY STILL MAKING THESE FILMS!? SO MICHAEL BOLTON CAN KEEP SINGING ABOUT THEM!? WHAT THE HELL!?

Not sure what’s gonna be out on Saturday, but let’s see.

(Photo via Crazy Gallery)

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